Sometimes, you just have to cling to the moments that make you happiest.
I've found this subject very difficult, and I often don't allow myself to be happy. But it's those unconscious slips where I suddenly find myself being happy that I cling to, no matter how short, how spontaneous or how trivial. I want more of them. So they deserve to be documented. In this way,when I fall into a low, I can find them again.
On a Thursday, last thing, we have a form period where various pieces of admin occur. Currently we are preparing Christmas Shoeboxes for Operation Christmas Child. And we had a spare bouncy ball.
It started with me, bouncing it off of the desk.
Then Beth asked me to throw it to her, and we played catch.
Soon there was Mignonne, Nikki and Tom.
Then we tried to get it into the fire bucket.
And we played piggy in the middle.
And then we returned to playing catch, bouncing it off of the cupboard doors.
It sounds far too simple.
But the excitement and sheer concentration, competitiveness and frivolity of us near-adults, over a small, bouncy ball, was somewhat astonishing. The relief it gave over its simplicity broke the trend of the serious nature of A-Levels. I laughed and I smiled, and while others looked on at us thinking us childish, I didn't care. It was fun.
It forces me to acknowledge the friends I have, and to appreciate them for all they're worth, because they are worth far more than me. They see me through all of the guarded, upset,conflicted Rachel, and help to reveal the light-hearted one.
They are the best people in the world.